Invitation to participate in Musawah knowledge building

FYI and please spread the word to those who may be interested! 

INVITATION TO PARTICIPATE IN MUSAWAH KNOWLEDGE BUILDING 27 September 2011 Musawah's Ground-Breaking Research on Qiwamah and Wilayah Picture courtesy: flickr Read this email in Arabic. Musawah is undertaking a long-term, multi-faceted knowledge building initiative on the Qur'anic concepts of qiwamah and wilayah, which are commonly understood as sanctioning men's authority over women. As interpreted and constructed in Muslim legal traditions, and as applied in modern laws and practices, these concepts play a central role in institutionalising, justifying and sustaining a patriarchal model of families in Muslim contexts. In Muslim legal traditions, marriage automatically places a wife under her husband's qiwamah and presumes an exchange: the wife's obedience and submission (tamkin) in return for maintenance (nafaqah) from the husband. This theoretical relationship, which still underlies many family law provisions in our contexts as Muslims today, results in inequality in matters such as financial security, right to divorce, custody and guardianship, choice and consent in marriage, sexual and reproductive health and rights, inheritance and nationality laws. This inequality is out of tune with contemporary notions of Islamic and human rights principles. It also clashes with the reality that men are often unable or unwilling to protect and provide for their families. It's time to recognise that women often serve as the providers for and protectors of their families. In order to campaign and advocate for laws and practices that promote equality and justice in the Muslim family, we need new knowledge and perspectives on qiwamah and wilayah. This project seeks to show how laws based on outdated interpretations of qiwamah and wilayah no longer reflect the justice of Islam, and that other interpretations are both possible and more in tune with human rights principles and contemporary lived realities. Need more information? Read an overview of the initiative in English or in Arabic. Join the research team - GET INVOLVED! We are inviting all Musawah Advocates to join this initiative. At this stage, there are three ways to get involved: 1 Send in existing statistics and data from your country - Can you send in statistics or data from your context that can support Musawah's perspective that the realities and experiences of women and men today can no longer justify the rationale for qiwamah and wilayah in Muslim legal traditions? We have commissioned a research paper to use such data as evidence of the need to rethink men's role as 'protectors and maintainers' of women. We need data on female-headed households, dual-income households, women's education levels, women's participation in agriculture, male and female labour-force participation rates and migration rates, prevalence of violence against women, divorce rates, and grounds commonly cited for divorce. Your data will help develop a worldwide analysis that you can then use to show the disconnect between law and reality and make a strong case for change in your local activism. All those who contribute data will be acknowledged as part of the research effort. 2 Document women's life stories in your context - Would you or your organisation like to document women's life stories to better understand how qiwamah and wilayah impact their lives? A major part of the knowledge building initiative will be participatory research by Musawah Advocates to shed light on the realities of family lives. An Indonesian team has been undertaking a pilot documentation project since January 2011 to develop a methodology that can be shared with all Advocates. We'd like Advocates to commit to be part of this project NOW so we can get them involved and start building capacity for this important documentation process. By participating in this project, your organisation can learn more about the concepts of qiwamah and wilayah, build your research and analysis skills, collect life stories that can be used in your local or national advocacy work, and be a part of this exciting, ground-breaking knowledge-building initiative. A limited amount of small grant funds are available to contribute towards supporting local research. 3 Tell us about your work on qiwamah and wilayah - Have you or your organisation worked on issues relating to qiwamah and wilayah already? If so, please share your experiences or research so we can try to incorporate these into the Musawah knowledge building initiative. We will acknowledge your contributions and may also invite you to join the conceptual meetings or online discussions when we discuss the issues in more depth. If you would like to get involved in the Qiwamah and Wilayah Knowledge Building Initiative, please contact us at musawah@musawah.org. We look forward to working with you! OUR PUBLICATIONS JOIN OUR COMMUNITY Join our Facebook Group Follow us on Twitter Check our YouTube channel FORWARD TO A FRIEND Forward to a friend here CONTACT US E: Musawah Secretariat musawah@musawah.org W: www.musawah.org Picture courtesy: flickr View this email in your browser . © Musawah 2011     Unsubscribe

Prophet Mohammed Cared About His Wife's Feelings

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا قَالَتْ قَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ إِنِّي لَأَعْلَمُ إِذَا كُنْتِ عَنِّي رَاضِيَةً وَإِذَا كُنْتِ عَلَيَّ غَضْبَى قَالَتْ فَقُلْتُ مِنْ أَيْنَ تَعْرِفُ ذَلِكَ فَقَالَ أَمَّا إِذَا كُنْتِ عَنِّي رَاضِيَةً فَإِنَّكِ تَقُولِينَ لا وَرَبِّ مُحَمَّدٍ وَإِذَا كُنْتِ عَلَيَّ غَضْبَى قُلْتِ لَا وَرَبِّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ قَالَتْ قُلْتُ أَجَلْ وَاللَّهِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا أَهْجُرُ إِلا اسْمَكَ"

رواه البخاري، كتاب النكاح، رقم الحديث 4827 موسوعة الحديث.

A'isha reported: "Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) said to me: I can well discern when you are pleased with me and when you are annoyed with me. I said: How do you discern it? Thereupon be said: When you are pleased with me you say "No, by the Lord of Muhammad," and when you are annoyed with me, you say "No, by the Lord of Ibrahim." I said: Allah's Messenger, by Allah, I leave only your name (when I am annoyed with you)." Sahih Muslim and Sahih Al-Bukhari.

Hadil witnessed the Tahrir wedding & Sunday Coptic Mass

Here is the second update from Hadil about her experience in Tahrir Square on Sunday:

"Dear Friends,

Yesterday I went to Tahrir square with my whole family, Mom, dad and my two younger sisters.As we approached the square we watched thousands marching towards the square, many of whom carried bags with food for protesters.We got down and marched with them till we reached a long queue of people who were getting inspected by regular youth before entering the square, to make sure no weapons or any harmful material. The military was there as well and checked our ID's.

That day in Tahrir we numbered to at least 2 Million. Just observing the scene there seemed as if everyone had an unspoken determination to resist Mubarak's" divide and conquer" strategy.Sunday was announced as the day of "martyrs" in commemoration of all the protesters who fell since the start of the revolution.We witnessed the Sunday Coptic Mass and the Muslim Prayer, with both Father and Sheikh sending prayers of blessings for the people's uprising, and people marching and chanting with the Cross and the Qur'an.Women and girls were hand in hand with men and boys who volunteered to clean up the square and run the field hospital.

Perhaps one of the most telling scenes was the marriage ceremony ( niqah) in the middle of the square between two people who allegedly met during the protests. The whole crowd joined in prayers for them. When the new bride spoke she said: "This square has turned into my home and all of you became my family, I will not find a people more precious than all of you to share my marriage happiness with than you".

I never felt safer in a crowd of 2 Million people in my life than yesterday. Sexual harrassment [had] turned sadly into a reality that accompanied any public gathering in Egypt. This is the same Egypt where today I could stand alone in the middle of a crowd with men passing behind and in front of me without having the slightest fear and not even a single gaze or inappropriate remark.A young man who accidentally was pushed slightly against my sister turned around and was extremely apologetic. When a group of us young women stood together ,young men gradually started forming a chain around us to protect us, as the masses of people increased.

Abdel-Halim Kandil, a famous political activist and coordinator of the Kefaya political pro-democracy movement, spoke to the crowds yesterday about the process of change, and that as we demand the change of the system we must change as well.This change is already happening....

As I'm writing you this update, one of the Satellite TV channels is now posting the picture one by one of each martyrer who were killed in cold blood by the regime of Mubarak,most of them 16 and 17 year old, the youngest being killed is a 10 year old boy with two bullets in his body.Rest in piece my brothers and sisters...

Hadil"

Update from my Egyptian friend

My friend Hadil wrote this update to her friends all over the world. I pray for her safety and wish her and all other protesters victory!

"Dear Friends

Today I flew back to Cairo to join family and friends in this historic uprising againts Mubarak's despotic regime. A few of us on the plane found ourselves in tears just laying our eyes on Cairo as its lights appeared from the sky.

Many of my friends have been camping in Tahrir square all night, while others have been arrested and beaten and humilated.

Yet the determination and strength of everyone is like an earthquake that shook Mubarak's system.

On my way from the airport I passed by at least 10 security checks, including neighborhood watches from ordinary people who sat up all night ,set up fire to warm themselves in the cold and arming themselves with whatever weapons they could find againt thugs and secret riot police who try to terrorize and intimidate people.

I stayed up all night chatting with friends who have been going regularly to tahrir square, sharing stories upon which we cracked up laughing and stories whch made us shed tears.Two of them had just been released from secret police who caught them bringing much needed medical aid and cotton to injured protestors at the square.These were a group of 16-19 year old teenagers, yet this didnt stop the police from terrorizing and assaulting them.

Muhamad Haeikal one of the prominent Egyptian thinkers summarized the whole situation in one beautifull sentence " the ugliest of what is in Egypt tried brutally to kill what is most noble in it".

It was eye opening to all of us, especially the pro-democracy opposition activist like us, that while the world, then UN, the various Human development reports, were telling us how uneducated, poor, corrupt, violent and racist we are, it was amazing to see a humane, noble, conscious and aware people that is humbling to say at least. It is incredible to see how when our ruthless dictators loose their ground, a nobility and love for one own's country emerges.

A picture in the front page on one of the newspaper here was showing a picture of an army solider who was shedding tears beacuse he could not protect the proestors from the violent thugs. The picture is showing one of the protestors whiping away his tears.

Coptic Christians formed human chains around Muslims protecting them while they are performing their friday prayers.

The stories of heroism are incredible, this is the first time in our history we witness riot police being inspected by neighbourhood watch people.

A doctor was sharing, on the funny side, how an old man with more than 30 bones broken still insisted on coming to the square every day! He was begging the man not to return so he can give medical aid to others.

In the middle of all of this, Egyptians did not loose their sense of humor, people chanting and dancing in the millions " Mubarak went crazy' as the tanks stand behind them and try to terrorize them.

There were the stories of Azhar scholars and students joining the protestors in their cloaks , even though the only slogans they knew were from the times of resistance to the british colonial rule, people embraced them laughingly and warmly while carrying them on thier shoulders and chanting.

I will head to the Tahrir square in an hour...

Love,

Hadil"

Questions. Lots of Them.

Have you recently thought of what constitutes friendship? Who are your friends? What makes them friends not acquaintances? What is the true test of friendship?

The ultimate question, though, is why does it hurt so much when you find out that someone you consider a "friend" does not consider you a friend of theirs? Even worse, when you find clues that this "friend" has been jealous of you or passionately, yet secretly, envies you? Can you be friends with someone who's so envious?

It's true that some friends are forever. Others appear at particular times and places for particular missions, then they slip back out of our lives. And then there are "friends" that were never meant to be friends, but somehow they got mislabeled, or were given more benefit of the doubt than they really deserved.

I'd do and give anything for my friends. I just hope I don't do it for those "friends"!

الحلم والمسيرة

بينما تتهافت المشاركات في مسيرة غزة الحرة من أنحاء العالم وتتظاهر احتجاجا على عرقلة الأمن المصري مرورهم إلى غزة، وتجلس المرأة اليهودية ذات الخمسة وثمانون عاما والتي نجت من المحرقة النازية، على كرسي في القاهرة معلنة إضرابها عن الطعام¹ غير مبالية بآثار هذا القرار على جسدها الهزيل، أتساءل أنا عن نساء العرب وكم منهن تنوي حضور تلك المسيرة أو غيرها تضامنا مع أخواتنا في غزة... أخواتنا الأرامل والثكالى ومعيلات الأسر... وأخواتنا اللاتي إن أسعفهن الحظ بأن ينجو الزوج، فإن احتمالية تعرضهن للعنف من قبل ذلك الزوج ازدادت طرديا² مع ازدياد الجوع والبطالة والإحباط والاكتئاب الحاد لدى كل سكان السجن مفتوح السقف مقفل الأبواب والجدران والنوافذ.

أنا لا أعرف من فلسطين، أرض أجدادي، غير ما رأيت منها في زيارة قصيرة جدا قبل سنوات... فقد ولدت في بلد عربي كان يعتبرني وأهلي عمالا وافدين لا أكثر، ثم عشت في بلد أحمل جنسيتها وقدمت لي الكثير، ثم تغربت وبعدت بي المسافات… لكني بقيت أحلم بالعودة… حلم العودة هو الشيء الوحيد الذي ورثته عن أجدادي وسيرثه أبنائي وأحفادي… يا ترى، بماذا تحلم نساء القدس ورام الله والخليل؟ بماذا تحلم نساء غزة؟ بأيام تختفي فيها القيود بكل أنواعها، قيود الاحتلال وقيود الثقافة الأبوية؟ بحياة ملؤها الحب والسلام والعدل والأمان؟

سألبس كوفيتي الفلسطينية يوم 31 ديسمبر (كانون الأول) 2009 تضامنا مع المشاركات والمشاركين في مسيرة غزة ومع أخواتي الفلسطينيات الحالمات بحياة أفضل، وأخواتي الفلسطينيات في المهجر اللاتي تشاركنني حلم العودة، وأخواتي الليلات في كل مكان اللاتي لا تنسى أخواتهن وتكافحن من أجل التغيير والحرية لهن ولنا جميعاً. ولو استطاعت الكوفية أن تنطق لقالت كم كنت أتمنى أن أكون هناك مع 1300 شخص من 43 دولة للمشاركة في المسيرة.³

Holocaust survivor stages hunger strike for Gaza ¹

http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5juepzZ-b0wLkYbpEJGjlY1QhsE2g

² في دراسة حديثة لمركز معلومات وإعلام المرأة :77% من النساء في قطاع غزة يتعرضن للعنف http://www.pwic.org.ps/cnews/show_news.php?subaction=showfull&id=1261652027&archive=&template=

CODEPINK: Gaza Freedom March ³

http://www.gazafreedommarch.com/article.php?list=type&type=416

The Hunter and the Dirty Diaper

Life has gotten too complex for the old division of labor by sex to prevail -- an order that reduces roles to simple provider vs. care giver. It is rather unfortunate that that old division of labor by sex is very much well and alive, even here in the U.S., particularly among Arab American families.

That order may have been fit for the old days when men were hunters and women were gatherers, but notice here how even then, women were not care givers period, they actually provided 70% of the food intake of their families out of what they gathered. Hunting did not always put food on the table, so there had to be stables to fall back on in the absence of bloody meat.

The reality is that there are some men who are more caring than some women and that there are some women who are smarter and can provide better than some men. It does not have to be an either or and I'm not calling for role reversal here. I'm just saying that it's time for some who claim to live by the morals and rules of an abstract culture to reassess the reality. It is time for some men who think money buys everything including women's labor to roll up their sleeves and go change that dirty diaper. It is time for some women to stop measuring their worth by how sparkling are their cookware or if they have a son or not.